it's times like these where I wished things would go back to the way they used to be. I know I'm being greedy; but who isn't in this superficial and materialistic world we live in today? I hate being this way, I really don't want to be. but there really isn't anything that can stop me... besides myself. being hypocritical is what gets to me most, I see others complaining about the smallest things in their life that doesn't matter at all... I make comparisons to a friend who is going through worse situations. where they can still put a smile on their face and pretend nothing is wrong; in order to stop others worrying. I admire how some people can sit there, count to 10 and everything will be okay... the optimistic type. but then thinking back to how I'm acting right now only seems transparent that I am taking things too far. I don't want to be like this.
I really want you to see this post, but I don't want my weakness and flaws to be shown to someone like you. I wish you were here with me, and I was the only one you cared about. but life doesn't work like that. life is a game, and if I don't start playing the way I want, I guess nothing will ever work out for the best.
we'll just have to see how things will turn out after today...
Chin up! :)
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